America the Beautiful

Amazingly hilarious… from the Palm Beach Post, this story reminds me of an old joke: there was a college football coach in the locker room telling his star player he couldn’t play in the upcoming game because he was flunking all his classes. Since the player was such an important member of the team, the coach decided to give him one shot at redemption and asked “What is 2 plus 2?”

The player thought for a second and answered “Uhh, is it 4?”

Before the coach could answer, the star players teammates came to his defense “Ah, come on coach, give him another chance!!”

Crowder learns he won%u2019t need translator in London

By Tim Graham | Wednesday, October 24, 2007, 07:54 PM

Maybe he was joking, but gregarious Dolphins linebacker Channing Crowder confessed today he didn%u2019t know until Tuesday that people spoke English in London.

Crowder, a former Florida Gator and Atlanta native, apparently isn%u2019t sure where the plane is headed when it takes off this afternoon for Sunday%u2019s game against the New York Giants in Wembley Stadium.

%u201CI couldn%u2019t find London on a map if they didn%u2019t have the names of the countries,%u201D Crowder said. %u201CI swear to God. I don%u2019t know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I learned that.

%u201CI know (Washington Redskins linebacker) London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That%u2019s the closest thing I know to London. He%u2019s black, so I%u2019m sure he%u2019s not from London. I%u2019m sure that%u2019s a coincidental name.%u201D

When reminded Dolphins practice squad receiver and NFL Europe veteran Marvin Allen is from London, Crowder%u2019s standup routine didn%u2019t miss a beat.

%u201CHe%u2019s from London?%u201D Crowder said. %u201CI knew he was from over there because he talks funny. I was surprised (when they met) because %u2014 I don%u2019t want to say he didn%u2019t look the part because that%u2019s a stereotype %u2014 but he didn%u2019t look the part. I heard him talk, and I thought he had a recorder and was just mouthing.%u201D

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