My brother sent over this hilarious article on Style.com, “YOU THINK YOUR JOB SUCKS? TRY WORKING FOR LENNY DYKSTRA,” penned by Kevin Coughlin, former sports photo editor at The New York Post, who left his job for a new position at Lenny Dykstra’s glossy The Players Club.
There are so many moronic episodes throughout the article that I literally have no idea where to begin, other than knowing that a light bulb totally went off when he describes The Players Club:
TPC would be much more than just a print magazine: It would be a comprehensive lifestyle and financial brokerage company aimed at assisting professional athletes with all aspects of their off-the-field lives, from their playing days to retirement. There would be a concierge service to book high-end vacations or secure Valentine’s Day flowers for a player’s wife and, most important, a financial-services referral unit that would help players buy income annuities—what Lenny called “recurring cash flow”—to guarantee a steady paycheck after they retired.
Had Bernard Madoff not been busted, “Nails” could’ve been close to pulling off a lucrative Ponzi scheme: professional sports is a $60bn industry; up-and-coming athletes idolize older, retired athletes; he could’ve started with a group of 10 retired athletes and paid them returns on the money invested by younger athletes, over and over again.
Let’s Wrestle’s “I Won’t Lie to You” is an appropriate enough song: